Sunday, October 10, 2010

I have become my Mom

I understand almost all women go through this experience of "I have become my Mom", generally after they have children and hear themselves using the same phrases, reasoning, or excuses with their children.

Not having children, I never really experienced this.

However, now I have undertaken a renovation project, with my brother and boyfriend both helping, and I find myself saying, or doing, or thinking, what I remember my Mom doing/saying as a child.

Things like

"Be careful!! There are rusty nails sticking out of that board."

"Can't you put up your tools?

Question (to Mom or me)...."Do you know where the______ (fill in as appropriate) is?

Answer (Either in the garage, or ......)

Reply "I don't see it"..... (I look and find it).....after which I might say,

"If it was a snake it would have bit you!", or "Are you blind?", or "Do I have to do everything around here?"

And of course, the oft used phrase of "Get washed up, dinner is almost ready".

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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Life goes on

Tonight I was thinking about when I started taking care of my Mom.

I remember telling myself...I can do this, 3 months, and she will be better.

But, she didn't get better. And months turned into years.

I still don't know how I did it. Only by sheer determination, and I found a really
great guy who would come see me when I could, and was there to support me.

Without him, I think I would have gone crazy.

But now it's been almost a year since my Mom died. And, a couple of months since
my b/f Mom died.

And life goes on.

Now it's worrying about us, about my siblings.

My Mom said I always worried too much.

I am working on that. She probably had a point. She was a pretty smart lady, and I still miss her wisdom. But, I always have her voice in my head.